We present a detailed study of the electronic and spin-orbit properties of single and bilayer graphene in proximity to the topological insulator Bi2Se3. Our approach is based on first-principles calculations, combined with symmetry derived model Hamiltonians that capture the low-energy band properties. We consider single and bilayer graphene on 1-3 quintuple layers of Bi2Se3 and extract orbital and proximity induced spin-orbit coupling (SOC) parameters. We find that graphene gets significantly hole doped (350 meV), but the linear dispersion is preserved. The proximity induced SOC parameters are about 1 meV in magnitude, and are of valley-Zeeman type. The induced SOC depends weakly on the number of quintuple layers of Bi2Se3. We also study the effect of a transverse electric field that is applied across heterostructures of single and bilayer graphene above 1 quintuple layer of Bi2Se3. Our results show that band offsets, as well as proximity induced SOC parameters, can be tuned by the field. Most interesting is the case of bilayer graphene, in which the band gap, originating from the intrinsic dipole of the heterostructure, can be closed and reopened again, with inverted band character. The switching of the strong proximity SOC from the conduction to the valence band realizes a spin-orbit valve. Additionally, we find a giant increase of the proximity induced SOC of about 200% when we decrease the interlayer distance between graphene and Bi2Se3 by only 10%. Finally, for a different substrate material Bi2Te2Se, band offsets are significantly different, with the graphene Dirac point located at the Fermi level, while the induced SOC strength stays similar in magnitude compared to the Bi2Se3 substrate.